4:09

Feeling some post-marathon blues that I'm going to use as fuel for inspiration. Remember how endorphins = endogenous morphine? I was on such a high last week (albeit borderline manic- "I NEED TO CHILL!" I texted inbetween carbo-loading and packing for my swim from Hopkinton to Boston...) You could say that Monday went swimmingly, Jen and I partied with our families that night, limped our way to lunch on Tuesday, and then I crashed.

Now what?

Welp, before we get to that, let's recap Monday.

The hardest part was getting to the start. The last few years have taken about 30 minutes to walk to the start, where you are lined up in sub-categories of corrals, before walk-bumping into everyone as you head down Main St of Hopkinton. This year the organizers tried so hard to get everybody out sooner, not just for the runners who had been standing in Athlete's Village for probably about 2 hours, but also for the volunteers who so wonderfully awaited our arrival. Turns out you can't really usher out 10,000 people very quickly, and it took us almost an hour to walk to the start. (Cut to 1:30 in the first video, below. Pretty good recap.)

Now this was really something special. Thousands of runners in ponchos, shuffling through pouring rain and wind, just to the START of 26.2 miles! What in the world were we doing?! I really wanted to take a video or photo but was certain my phone would meet its demise with the precipitation. Runners are always a bunch to make the best of things, and I looked around for groups making light of this ridiculousness. Truthfully, there weren't any people cracking jokes. It was pretty cold...

I'd left our cozy warm bus at 10:15am, and by the time I shuffled to the start at 11:15, I was freezing and it took my hands (and my stupid sprained knuckle) about 5 miles to warm up. But really all I could think about was how badly I felt for the volunteers, OFFERING to stand there, and not be able to run to warm up like we were. They're amazing.

As I got closer to Jon and Zoe at the halfway point in Wellesley, on pace at 2:03, I tried to decide whether I should change my jacket. I remembered thinking that changing coats had saved me in 2015; though I had run without a poncho. But the weather was worse this time. And I was already feeling the cold. Alright. So I planned to change.

I love her so much!! She was so happy with her cup of Gatorade ("apple juice," she calls it) and she said, "I love you, Mom," as Jon helped me with my coat. 2.5-3 minutes later, I hugged them goodbye, and continued on. Surely, a stop had never taken me quite so long, but I didn't care, with the forecasted 27mph headwinds to come.

The Newton Hills came and went, I and continued to be super impressed with the spectators and volunteers. Was I missing something? These people were seriously crazier than I was, standing out there like that. I teared up as I approached Heartbreak Hill, so inspired by the spectators. I tried to lighten the mood of the runners around me with a "WOOOOO!" ... but got nothing. "I wonder how Shalane did!" I said to a woman next to me. I got a sympathetic glance at best. Footsteps. Runners were in survival mode.

I thought about taking off my poncho as it was super annoying to have the wind hit the wall of plastic draping me, and it would twist around and hit me in the face, and it was challenging to get my hand out to accept water from the volunteers. I tried to predict what life would be like sans poncho by sticking my hands out for a few minutes, and noticed they'd quickly get cold (and my stupid knuckle would get sore,) and so I'd tuck them safely back in. The poncho had to stay- though I eventually tossed it over the fence at Mile 25, unlike the countless other runners who dumped them like Mario Kart banana peels all over Hereford Street.

My dad caught me at mile 20, Natalie at 20.5, and my mom caught me around 22, though I didn't see her. Hitting the downhill into Boston around Mile 21 was FABULOUS, and I'd meant to scold the sidewalk/scene of the crime where I'd fallen, but forgot as I went by. I was focused on getting my time down as the stop in Wellesley had cost me 3 minutes and the Newton Hills didn't help.

5 miles to go? Looking like a 4:14 finish.
4 miles to go? Looking like a 4:12 finish.
3 miles to go? Looking like a 4:12 finish.
2 miles to go? Looking like a 4:11 finish.
1 mile to go? Looking like a 4:11 finish.

(What else are you going to think about at that point?)

I hit the 26 mile marker and looked down at my watch, with a current time of 4:08. I was NOT going to get this close and run a stupid 4:10. My legs hurt A LOT but with no threat of puking, I happily booked it down the last 385 yards of Boylston Street and finished in 4:09:57 -- a 1 second PR for Boston. Cheerily I slogged back to the bus with the help of some wonderful MVS volunteers, posed for a photo, shakily peeled off my cold wet clothes, and went home to get ready to go out to dinner. Zoe and I even shared some delicious Doritos in the car on the way to dinner. Yes, this is an important part of the story. I wasn't puking!!!! (See my, "I'm not going to puke today!" smile below.)

Ergo, the 4:09:57 was not what I came for, but I'll take it. Plus if I hadn't stopped for 3 minutes? That would be a 4:07. But you can't play games like that. I did stop. And Monday was crazy. Anyway.

Comparing one Boston time to another is much like apples and oranges. The weather is such a huge variable that I find the closest thing to be an indicator of performance is analysis of finishing places. Last year I'd placed at 7370/12380 female starters (40th percentile), and this year I'd placed at 7182/12063 female starters (40th percentile). Again. Ugh. And I'd trained so much harder this year. Maybe I didn't taper enough. ARGHH.

I moped about my harder-effort-same-place-finish for several days before realizing the impact of that 3 minute stop. Who knows what would have happened if I hadn't switched to a dry jacket? PLUS the qualifying cut-off time was faster this year than last year, so technically the field of women was overall faster. That counts too, right?!?

So what now? Track. Our workout tonight was amazing on a beautiful 65 degree evening.

I have to qualify. I'm thinking a late fall marathon (Philadephia? IDK.) would be a good bet for Boston 2020. I will try for September/Boston 2019 but there are so many weather variables in early September that may or may not work in my favor.

Flow the lactic acid must. LET'S DO THIS.

Listen to the Road

I AM SO PUMPED. Thanks to a special student and AHS News for putting this clip together. <3

The weather's not entirely cooperating, but I'm really not worried about it as a runner. I empathize more with the volunteers and spectators who will bundle up and stand out there in it. Most runners are more concerned about heat on race day than rain and wind. I'm optimistic about this weather not making me feel sick, so bring it on. It is, however, truly comical how high the winds are forecast to be, and how much rain is predicted. I survived and had a blast in 2015 after I'd had pneumonia and a stomach bug and a sleepless 1 year old so I'm certain 2018 will be FABULOUS.

My goal for this year is 4:04. Actually my goal this year is to not puke. But my second goal is a 4:04. When I ran my last long run 3 weeks ago, I was running a 9:10 pace in 50 degrees, which is about a 4:04, and I think I could have run a faster last few miles, so 4:04 is fair. I've been doing most of my long training runs at 8:59 which is usually a good predictor of race time (3:58), however with the predicted 20mph headwind and hilly terrain and soooo many runners in the first few miles, and not wanting to puke, I think a 4:04 is good. My goal is to run a 2:04 in the first half and a 2:00 in the second half.

You can hold me to that by tracking me: Text 234567 with my bib # - 29642 . It will give you updates and predicted finish times every 6 miles.

I know I've written about this before, but here's a recap of past stats:

2012: 87 degrees. 4:20.
2015: 45 degrees and raining. 4:09.
2016: 70? degrees. Maybe. I don't remember. 4:09.
2017: I don't remember, but it was hot at the start. 4:12 -- though my place was the best of all 3 years. I think it was windy?
2018: I will be ok with anything less than 4:09, but dear lord let it be 4:04, and ecstatic with anything less than that. My eye is twitching.



Meanwhile, on that last run a few weeks ago, I fell and sprained some tendon on my hand. I was running the course on the famous "last long run" - an unofficial gathering of thousands of runners. My mom drove me to the start in Hopkinton and followed along in her car, stopping for a hug every few miles. I made it to 21.4, just past Heartbreak, and waved at her as I ran by, on my way to finish 22.0. I thought about getting in the car instead of being seemingly crazy, but decided to finish what I came for, and plugged on. I was looking up ahead, considering taking a picture of the "Welcome to Brighton" sign, but instead decided to focus on where I might actually hit 22.0.

Happily I continued along the sidewalk, thinking about the delicious cheeseburger I was going to find and devour shortly after. And then I fell. Hard. It happened so fast. It had been going so well. It HURT. Like excruciating hurt.

I'd been heading down the sidewalk, towards the crosswalk you see on the left. The corner was covered in a 4 foot snowplow pile. Though I didn't process it at the time, I zigged and zagged in and out of that electrical box and recycling? mailbox? thing, cutting across the mud to the crosswalk. My shoe caught the sidewalk and I went down, into the decline of the wheelchair accessible ramp.

Another runner immediately turned around to help, and I peeled myself off the sidewalk and gasped that my mom must be pulling up right behind me THANK GOD. I ripped off my water belt and threw it, not wanting anything to get in the way of me climbing into her car. The poor runner picked up my water belt and put it in my mom's car, and my mom drove to the St. Elizabeth's emergency room just down the street. Stupid sidewalk. Stupid, stupid sidewalk.

I eventually figured out that I'd bent my index finger sideways over the tops of my other fingers. Today, 3 weeks later, it's still black and blue and I can't hold a pen properly, cut with a knife properly, squeeze a shampoo bottle properly, etc. They are just little annoying things though, and I should be so lucky. But man was it a change of pace for a couple of weeks.

I put on quite a show on 22 miles of low blood sugar and what I swear was a very painful fall :D

Thus, the title of this post. Last week as I left for my 10 mile run, Zoe called out to me, "Listen to the road!" Beautiful. She made it up- I've never heard it before. Perfect.

Listen to the road. And never make any decisions while running uphill.

BRING IT 2018.

The Science of Running

At my very core, I secretly fantasize about running like a science experiment. I run along my routes visualizing the hemoglobin on my red blood cells releasing oxygen for my muscle cells to absorb by diffusion for use in cell respiration. Like little factories, their mitochondria take the oxygen and glucose in my blood stream and burn the glucose into fuel in the form of ATP. The little factories make me hot, which my body compensates for by making me sweat, which hopefully evaporates by evaporative cooling, allowing me to maintain homeostasis. Go little cell factories, go!

I'm not joking.

At Marblehead, there were four biology teachers. Three of us were runners and cross country coaches. Two of my close BioBuilder friends are also marathoners. Three out of the 7 science teachers in our office are running Boston this year. There has to be something to that, right? Though not exclusively, RUNNING IS SCIENCE.

Let me teach you something you've been just dying to know about cell respiration. First, your cells can't directly use sugar for energy. That would be like you using a nuclear power plant in your backyard as a generator for your house. They have to convert carbohydrates to glucose to a molecule called "ATP," which is what cells can use for all of their delicious chemical reactions, including muscle contraction ;) It happens as part of three connected processes, mostly in the beloved mitochondria.

 The first step takes glucose, a 6 carbon ring,  and splits it in half. See the 6 dots at the top of the diagram? They turn into 3-dot molecules at the bottom of the diagram. Breaking molecules in chemical reactions almost always releases energy that was stored in the chemical bonds between the atoms. In this case, the energy from breaking glucose is captured in delicious ATP molecules (and something else called NADH that we'll ignore for simplicity.)

Those 3-dot molecules continue to break down in the second step, called the Krebs cycle. Each step of the Krebs cycle breaks off a one-carbon dot. See the "CO2" in the diagram below? Those are one-carbon molecules that came from the original 6-carbon glucose.

WAIT WAIT. THIS IS WHY YOU EXHALE CARBON DIOXIDE. IT COMES FROM THAT DIAGRAM RIGHT THERE. ALL OF IT!!! Once you see it, you can't unsee it...

Just pretend a Kit-Kat bar is made of 6 pieces. (I know. Kit Kats are made of two connected bars. This is a terrible analogy. Stay with me.) Every time you break off a piece of the Kit-Kat, energy is released. As the Kit-Kat goes through the Krebs cycle above, you can sing "Gimme a break, gimme a break. Break me off a piece of that (6-carbon thing!)" as you release CO2, made of (1-carbon thing). Exhale.

All of this is wonderful, as long you have a steady supply of glucose in your blood stream. This comes from food you eat, though mostly from stored glucose in your muscles. Extra glucose gets stored in your liver and muscles in a long molecule called "glycogen." Your body has the ability to store about 1600 calories of glycogen, though you can increase this through training/teaching your muscles to burn glycogen more efficiently, and frequently using up all your glycogen so the cells learn to increase their glycogen storage capacity.

Every single one of those pink rings is a 6-carbon glucose that can be broken off as needed. Every time you eat food with carbohydrates, extra carbs (glucose) in the blood gets linked together as a long chain, in the form of glycogen in the liver and muscles. Then as needed, the glycogen can be broken down for glucose energy.

This is why there's all the hype about carbo loading and pasta dinners before athletic events! Build up your glycogen storage! EXCEPT.

1. It takes 24-48 hours for your body to truly convert glucose to glycogen. Having pasta the night before a marathon isn't helping you carbo load. That's probably only 12-18 hours-- no glycogen stored. It's better to carbo load for *days* before a marathon.

2. Glycogen really only gets used after at least an hour of intense/moderate exercise. Having a team pasta dinner the night before a soccer game again, isn't necessarily bad, but isn't doing anything special to fuel their running.

3. I think pasta actually sits heavy in my belly. I much prefer to eat fish (sushi and/or salmon) the night before a marathon or long run. Any time I haven't, I've regretted it to varying degrees. Fish always serves me well.

So what do you do when you run out of glycogen? You have several options.

1. Hit the "wall." It's effectively like running out of gas in a car. You've literally used all your sugar and now your mitochondria sucks at making ATP. I've run marathons where my mile 18 is DRASTICALLY slower than mile 17 -- about 1600 calories into the race. It's textbook, and always makes me giggle despite being in agony.

2. Try to prevent hitting the wall with fuel of some sort, like Gu (sugar), Gatorade (sugar + a pathetic helping of electrolytes) or my personal favorite, Cliff shot Bloks. It's important to get your body used to digesting such things during a run, because otherwise your body's energy is generally shunted away from your digestive system.
*This is why people can have GI distress while running, because your body thinks you are being poisoned because WHY OH WHY CAN'T I DIGEST ANYTHING RIGHT NOW? ABORT MISSION! GET IT OUT!

3. Switch to "fat burning" mode, which is a more difficult process for your cells to produce ATP. Again you can facilitate this by training properly, such as "fasted runs" in the morning before eating anything, and frequently running more than 8 miles at a time.

4. Teach your body to transport lactic acid efficiently, so that it can be used as part of a pathway to generate >>>ATP, instead of having to rely on it alone for a small amount of ATP. Also lactic acid buildup can cause sickness and horrific nausea, for which the only cure is time. Teach your body to transport lactic acid by doing "threshold" runs/speedwork, at about a 5K pace. Though these workouts are not fun, they offer a great return on the time invested. Some lactic acid is always produced in general, and in particular while running. Again the trick is to use it effectively instead of just letting it build up. Have you been running long and suddenly your breathing becomes much heavier, even though you're not running faster, and maybe even running slower? Ya. You've stopped transporting lactic acid and are starving for both oxygen and ATP. Prepare for your demise.

This brings me to my final point- the science of why I puke after running many marathons.

I couldn't figure it out. Was I...
a. dehydrated?
b. in GI distress because I'd consumed too much/the wrong kind of fuel?
c. overheated?
d. low on electrolytes?

Then I was talking with a friend this fall about how I'd been so sick after the Allentown marathon, which was so strange to me because I didn't eat or drink anything for HOURS after, until suddenly I sat up and was good as new. My body had just needed time to recover from the shock, it seemed. The science didn't make sense. I hadn't rehydrated, replenished electrolytes, and it was cold out. I wasn't hot. (Truthfully these probably all played at least a small role in my malaise but there had to be something I was missing.)

"It's lactic acid sickness," she said. "Your body needed time to get rid of it."

DUH!!!!!!!!!! I'd never thought of that!! And of course I'd been having more trouble with it as I hadn't been running enough mileage to really teach my muscles to transport it well enough. Duh duh duhhhhh.

Problem solved? Lactic acid became my new beast. That's right you little cell factories. You transport that lactic acid to build that ATP. Yum.

34 days to Boston. So excited. (which means today is 46 days before the day we have to go to school on a Saturday- we're on our 9th snow day and our last day of school is Friday, June 29. A story for another time...)

Happy running :)

ALL THE ENDORPHINS

Did you know that your body produces its own class of opioid-like hormones, that cause opioid-like responses in the body, including decreased perception of pain and increased euphoria? They're called endorphins, and are described as "feel good" hormones, often associated with being released during/after exercise.

(Opioids drugs include morphine, heroin, vicodin, percocets, oxycontin, and Tylenol with codeine, and are all some derivative of the sticky white stuff from poppy plants. In fact, "endorphin" comes from the terms "endogenous morphine." I know, right?)

Observe.

Notice the parts of the molecules that have the same chemical composition and structure, allowing them to bind to your brain cells the same way, which therefore causes them to produce the same effects. This means several things;

a. You can train your body to run longer, because the longer you run, the more... anaesthetic... you naturally produce.
b. Longer running can cause more happiness.
c. You can start to see why running is addictive...

Granted on some days, running is hard. You may start to get a headache, your stomach bothers you, you're tired, and just can't find a groove. BUT some days the stars are aligned and somewhere around mile 3, something magical happens. Your joints loosen, your stride opens up, your legs are strong and the cars move out of your way and your run is so amazing that you become a FORCE for the rest of the day and your coworkers may start to sing "I like to move it move it" and suggest you download an app that tells you to jump over a pencil 10 times:

This happened to me on Friday. I was able to run before school and was just about jumping out of my skin for the rest of the day, so much so that I went for a second run after school. (Marathon training and running twice a day are indeed a post for another day.)

What do you do that makes you feel awesome??

ps This reminds me of a high school friend who used to say, "Drug free, high on life! Spread the word!"

pps I secretly want to open a cafe along a rail trail called "Endorphins" and we will serve beer and ice cream. And maybe donuts. <3

I love running. 18 miles yesterday which went very well and I was super happy with my time. It was an out-and-back run that involved a fair number of hills from miles 6-12. Plus running over the 93 overpass is always fun...

However I was so tired after, that when Zoe fell asleep on our way to a party, I pulled into a parking lot and also took a nap. #momWin :D

HAPPY RUNNING HIGHS!

New year, new priorities

In elementary school, I remember a "song" we sang in music class about New Years Resolutions. I'm pretty sure it was 3 notes and we hit sticks while we went around the room making up our ten year old New Years Resolutions. For some reason, this has played over in my head in the last few weeks as I think about goal setting for Boston 2018.

Honestly, I almost didn't think I could do it this year. By the time I got word that I was lucky enough to have been awarded a bib from MVS in December, to say I was exhausted would be an understatement. Waking up at 5, to get Zoe to school by 6:30, to get me to school from 7:15-4, to get home to get Zoe and dinner on the table by 6, to get her in bed actually asleep by 8:30 all week- not only made for a tiring week, but also meant I didn't do anything well. I couldn't spend the time with her that I wanted to, I couldn't find a rhythm in my clunky lesson planning, I didn't want to have to make dinner (what's wrong with bagels every night?), and I certainly didn't have time to run. And I truly mean that- sometimes I check myself on the "I didn't have time" and try to replace it with "it wasn't a priority" to see if it's a better fit for what I'm trying to say. Running was totally a priority, but my job at school was never done, and my kid was way more important.

December ticked on and I was frustrated. In 3 weeks, I'd run twice, and was ready to kill somebody. And I was irritated that I couldn't figure out how I could possibly fit Boston into my life. I was so confused. Did I not want to run? Was that normal? Or was I finally saying "enough is enough" and letting it go? Had I been abducted by aliens? GAHHHHHHH!!!!!!:JJGKJALDKJGALSJKDGLAKSDJGJLKDSG

"Well, maybe if you run more, you won't be so angry...?", suggested a friend. That made me giggle. Truth.

The idea of Boston 2018 started last June, when Jemblidge and I signed up for the Allentown Marathon in September, in hopes of running Boston together. Like a rockstar, she qualified, and fingers crossed, I applied for a bib through MVS. I reflected on this as I thought about what running this spring meant to me. Who knows if I would ever get a chance to run Boston with her again?

Well, not with her, let's be honest. Kid's super speedy!!!! But- we would be on the training road of ups and downs, the expo getting our bibs, and on the MVS bus to Boston, and taking 2309859835 pictures at Athletes Village!!!!!! And consuming all the beer and sushi after.

Also Shalane won the NYC marathon and contributed to a great piece about what it means for women to support each other in running. In it she says, "When we accomplish great things on our own, they don't feel nearly as special." Having my Jemblidge train for Allentown at the same time as me helped keep me honest in a summer when my priorities were focused on moving and not 20 mile runs. We had a good race and I worked hard this fall to continue to get in shape via MVS track, and was happy with my Newburyport half marathon time of 1:47 when it was 60 degrees and super humid.

Shortly before the holidays, I decided that running Boston was, duh, absolutely a priority and I'd have to shuffle my life like index cards and do some weeding of other stuff so that I could fit in the training. I took our vacation week to reflect and figure out how I could streamline some things at school and home. Part of this included buying a treadmill, not just because of the bizarre weather we've had lately, but because it will give me the option to fit in a few miles at 5am if that's what I need to do, or at 7pm if that's what I need to do, etc. I feel like I just purchased the gift of time. (I will have to write another entry on the extensive research I did and how I decided to purchase the Spirit XT385 from a local shop in Salem, NH.) My 8th marathon and 5th Boston are apparently in the forecast.

Coincidentally, this weekend called for 14 miles, and Saturday morning was a balmy 60 degrees and partly sunny and it was FABULOUS. Then at mile 13, the skies darkened, the temperature dropped 15 degrees, and a cold rain washed all.the.sweat into my eyes, which was really quite interesting as I booked it down the home stretch of route 97. #winning

One analogy for all of this is how I feel about JT's new song, "Filthy." We have a love hate relationship. It's growing on me. Plus, ALL THE DANCING.

Haters gon say it's fake. SO REAL.